The Power of Imaginationby Sheila Somerlock RuthWhen I was a child, I was convinced that there were monsters in my closet. Even after my father came in and turned on the light to show me that nothing was there, I knew that they were there and I knew that they were real. And I knew that they would get me, even if the closet door was closed. Now that I'm grown up, I only occasionally let my irrational fears get the better of me. But I remember being scared, so I try to be sympathetic when my son wakes me up at 2 in the morning, afraid that the scary things are going to get him. I don't always succeed, but I try to conceal my irritation at having to get up out of my warm bed and the safety of my own blankets. Kids have vivid imaginations, and the monsters are real to them, especially at night when the world is covered with darkness and everything looks strange. Preschoolers don't always know the difference between reality and fantasy, so they can honestly believe that monsters are real. Even older children, who know that monsters "aren't real," can still be overcome with irrational, but to them very real, fears in the middle of the night. All in all, the world is a pretty scary place when you are small and powerless. Heck, it can be scary sometimes even when you are old and like to believe you have some ability to control your environment! You can talk yourself blue in the face and you won't convince them that the monsters aren't real. So what do you do? How can you fight the imagination of a child? Do you know the old saying, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?" Well, one approach to helping a child through a scary time is to make use of their imagination. If they can imagine monsters, they can imagine ways to defeat the monsters! Of course, you will want to maintain your position that monsters aren't real - doing anything else will just confuse your child. Grownups aren't supposed to believe in monsters. But you can use the illogic of imagination to help your child come up with ways to feel safe and secure. An example of this illogic happened one night recently. "Mommy, don't leave me," my son cried, "Scary things will get me in the dark!" "Why don't I give you your Pikachu to protect you," I suggested. "But Pikachu isn't real! He can't protect me!" my son wailed. I thought for a moment, then replied, "Well, Pikachu may not be real, but the monsters aren't either. So your not-real Pikachu can zap the not-real monsters with a Thundershock and everything will be OK." I held my breath, thinking that this couldn't possibly work, but my convoluted logic seemed to satisfy him. "OK," he said and smiled as he hugged Pikachu tight. I kissed him and went off to bed. Using your creativity to come up with a way to help your child feel secure is good. Encouraging your child to use his or her creativity to come up with his own solutions is even better because it puts the power in his hands. "Monsters aren't real," you can tell him, "but if they were, what would you do if you saw one? How would you defeat it?" Then let his imagination take over. If he has trouble getting started, you might suggest a few ideas to get the ball rolling. What ideas will you come up with? Peanut butter on the floor to get the monster stuck? Playing the drums to scare it away? Toss out a couple of suggestions and then let your child take over and watch his imagination soar! If you believe in prayer, you may also want to say a prayer with your child before you leave him. Remind him that he can pray anytime he is scared or needs comfort. You will probably be the first one he seeks out for comfort for many years, but eventually he will remember that he can turn to God for comfort as well. Dealing with fears is a constant and ever changing battle. What worked yesterday may or may not work today. I try different things; sometimes my ideas work and sometimes they don't. But whatever approach I use, I know that it will work best if I'm working with my child's imagination instead of against it. |