Baby Tips for New Parents
by Sheila Somerlock Ruth
It happened to me about 6 or 7 months into my pregnancy - that
sudden realization that in just a few short months, my husband
and I would be completely and totally responsible for the care
of a new baby. Until that time, I had been focused on the
details of the pregnancy: the changes in my body, the
development of the fetus inside me, and our plans for the
delivery. I hadn't really thought about what would happen when
we came home from the hospital with our new baby. Panic set in.
Would we know what to do? What if we made mistakes?
In a frenzy, I dragged my husband to a parenting class. I didn't
learn very much from the class. About all I remember of it was
pretending to bathe a doll. But it did give me some confidence
that, just maybe, I could do this parenting thing after all.
In truth, nothing can really prepare you for parenting. It's
strictly on-the-job training. No matter what you learn or know
about parenting, your children will surprise you and force you
to learn new things and come up with creative solutions. So,
while it is important to learn as much as we can about taking
care of these small beings that have been entrusted to us, it's
also important to realize that it's not like studying for a test.
We don't have to know everything!
But in case you're feeling edgy, as I was, here's some tips to
help you get started on your parenting journey:
- Trust your instincts! No matter what the books say, no matter
what the doctors say, in the end it comes down to you. You have
to do what you think is right, even if it goes against what
everyone else is saying. Remember that 40 years ago,
breastfeeding was frowned on, and those mothers who did
nurse their children had to go against powerful social pressure
to do what they thought was right. Now of course, we know that
nursing your child is one of the best things that you can do to
give them a good start. Will you make mistakes? Probably. But
most of the mistakes parents make do not do lasting damage.
- Read as much as you can. While it is important to trust your
instincts, it is also important to have a lot of information to
draw on in making your decisions. You shouldn't necessarily take
anything you read as absolute truth; many parenting books will
offer conflicting advice on any given subject. If you rely on
only one book, even a good one, then you are not getting the
whole story. But if you read a lot of books and articles, you
can use the knowledge you've gained to make up your own mind.
There are things I wish that I had known about when my child was
a baby that I didn't learn until much later.
- Be thorough about childproofing. If there is one area in
which mistakes can have a lasting impact, it is safety. Don't
delay; you'll be surprised at how quickly most babies become mobile.
- Buy a good pediatric health reference. My husband and I have
consulted ours more than once in the middle of the night. It can
sometimes help you figure out how to deal with health issues
without having to call the doctor. Just don't get carried away;
it's easy to find all sorts of exotic illnesses that fit your
child's symptoms.
- When in doubt, call the pediatrician, even if it's the middle
of the night. If your not sure if your child's symptoms are
serious, it's always better to call the pediatrician to make
sure. As you become more experienced, you'll have a better feel
for when you need to call the doctor, but in the beginning it's
hard to know. If your pediatrician makes you feel stupid for
calling, get a new pediatrician. A good pediatrician understands
that new parents don't have the experience to know when there is
really a problem.
- Buy a good diaper bag. You'll be carrying it around a lot, so
it is important to find one which is easy to carry and easy to
organize. You may even want to consider a backpack which will
leave your hands free (trust me - you'll need them!)
- Consider cloth diapers. You may want to think about using
cloth diapers, at least part of the time. Cloth diapers are
better for your baby's skin and may help them to become aware
of their bodily functions earlier (an important step in potty
readiness). Today's cloth diapers are nothing like those
shapeless rags that mothers used to have to make do with. Of
course if your baby will be in day care, you will probably have
to use disposables there, but you can still use cloth diapers
when your baby is home. I used cloth diapers when my son was a
baby, except when traveling. For more information about cloth
diapers, see the Diaper Pin web site.
- Talk, sing, and read to your baby. Although they won't
understand what you are saying for a while, the more they hear
language, the better their minds will learn to process it. And
the sound of your voice is comforting to them.
Finally, remember that you are not alone. You are surrounded by
people willing to help. Don't be afraid to ask family and friends
for help. And the Internet is not only a wonderful place to find
information, it is a wonderful source of community and support.
There are many wonderful communities of moms and dads on the
internet who help each other out with advice and support.
Remember the old saying, that it "takes a village to raise a
child." We are lucky to live in a time when the world is our
village.
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