Around the Cornerby Sheila Somerlock RuthAfter waiting in the long line of cars that they call "carpool" at my son's school, I finally pull up to the curb to pick up my son. The assistants bring him out of his classroom and he bounces into the car beaming. "Mommy! Look what I made in class today! Did you bring me a snack? Can I take my shoes off in the car? Did you bring me a snack? We had a visitor today! Did you bring me a snack?" I smile at his enthusiasm, but as much as I want to take the time to devote my full attention to him, at that moment I need to get this bouncing ball of energy belted into his seat so that I can move out of the way and let the next waiting parent move up to the front of the line. So I say, "Hang on a minute - we'll talk about it around the corner." Faced with the conflict between the need to listen to him and the need to keep the line moving, I came up with a compromise. He has to wait two minutes for me to get out of the line and park in the parking lot around the corner, and then I can devote my full attention to him. "Around the corner" has become a special time for us. He shows me the things he made in school and gives me any important papers; I give him a snack. He takes off his coat and sometimes his shoes, and gets comfortable. We talk about our respective days, laugh and share. I try to keep quiet and let him run the show; this is his time. In short, I create a space for him to fill. This daily ritual doesn't take very long; usually only about 15 minutes or so. But it's a time that I've come to treasure, a time when we aren't distracted by the "dailyness of living," a time when we can just enjoy being together and sharing. I know that some time in the not too distant future, my son will be a teenager. And then instead of bouncing into the car excitedly, he'll probably slouch into his seat, pull his hat down over his eyes, and turn up the music so he doesn't have to talk to me. But I hope that there will always be a space "around the corner" for us. No, it won't be the same, but I hope that he will always know that there is a space there for him: a space that he can fill if he chooses to, a space where he can be himself, a space where it is safe to open up. And until then, I'm going to treasure every moment we spend "around the corner." |